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KNOW YOUR RANKS: THE ROYAL AIR FORCE
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AN AIR OFFICER.
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water, gives policy to GOD.
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A Group Captain
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a bulldozer,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm,
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A WING COMMANDER.
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer,
Is faster than a speeding .22 slug,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.
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A SQUADRON LEADER.
Barely clears Nissen Huts,
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
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A FLIGHT LIEUTENANT.
Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap short buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Dog paddles,
Talks to animals.
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A FLYING OFFICER.
Runs into buildings,
Recognises a locomotive two out of three times,
Has a gun but is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat with proper instruction,
Talks to walls.
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A PILOT OFFICER.
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says “Look at the Choo Choo”,
Is not issued with a gun,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.
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A NON COMMISSIONED OFFICER.
Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets between teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD.
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AN AIRMAN.
Sweeps under buildings,
Puts locomotive back on track,
Picks up spent cartridges after speeding bullets have been fired,
Carries the water to be frozen,
He is the Son of GOD.
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